As I’ve said before, NEVER say things can’t get any worse because they can and they will.
They did.
Grandpa came to help me with Izzy’s first two days of school. See, I didn’t have enough money to pay for aftercare yet and I had to go to work because it’s a busy time at the college. So, Izzy took the bus and Grandpa was at the house to meet her. This was great. I was relieved and grateful that I had help and Grandpa loves to hang out with Izzy. He stayed until Saturday and that night, we packed him up to go home.
So, he wanted to go to get some things at Walmart first so we went to the one in Linden. Then we went for a quick dinner at the Applebees nearby. All was going well until we went out to the car and got ready to take him to NY…
The car didn’t start.
The starter clicked and some of the dash lights went on quick but then nothing. Now when something like this happened in the past, I was prepared with AAA membership to call for help right off. I know how to prepare for life’s difficulties when I have the money to do it. Well, poverty sucks and I could not renew my membership. Now what do I do? I got a kid and an old man in the car and a dead car. Nobody around to help.
I got flustered; I got mad. I hated my life right there in front of everyone I tried to shield from the depth of my hatred and anger. I didn’t yell but I admitted I had nothing available to resolve this situation. No money to help. No one to call. I also hated the fact that throughout my life, I was surrounded by invalids in some size, shape or form and NEVER seemed to have equal support or even someone who knew BETTER that could resolve a situation like this. What I would give to have someone take command of an emergency FOR ME – someone I believed in and could trust so I wouldn’t always be the reliable one to resolve the problems. I was never the type of person who thoroughly enjoyed being constantly needed – this placement fell upon me by default. I have been independent and reliable because I had to be. It would be nice to feel free from constant responsibility; a feeling I have not truly had for most of my life, despite what some may perceive. They are wrong.
Ok, ok. I have jumper cables. So, I got out of the car, got the cables in the back and lifted the hood. This would signal to other drivers in the parking lot that I obviously needed help. Then, I went back into the restaurant and asked the hostess if there was anyone available that could give my car a jump. I did this twice without any help there, so while leaving the restaurant for the second time, I stopped a couple getting out of their car and asked if they could help.
The pair was great and the woman immediately took charge and managed what her companion should be doing. I thought wow, I wish I was as together as this lady. We hooked up the cables to both cars and tried to start my car. No luck. It turned out there was way too much gunk on my battery to take the charge. We tried cleaning it a bit but still no luck. So I thanked them profusely as they went in the restaurant and sat back in the car, defeated, thinking it must be something else and a jump wasn’t gonna do it.
It was at this point that my father asked how much an AAA membership cost. I told him about $120 for the year and I could do it right on the phone and they would come out. He told me to just do it and gave me a credit card. I got online (thank GAWD my phone hadn’t died and there was internet!) and completed the membership application. I could now call for assistance. I didn’t feel good about taking the help from my father but I had no choice.
While sitting there with the hood open, I called for roadside assistance. At that same time, another man in the parking lot came over to ask if I needed help. I told him what happened to the car and he attempted to jump the battery again. The whole time, a woman in another car nearby was watching and asking me what happened. I don’t know if she was with the man and his friend, but she stayed the whole time in her car watching what happened, almost like she wanted to be sure I was OK. I appreciated that. So few women actually help other women. It’s a strange trend.
Anyhow, these two gentlemen, one of whom was a mechanic, tried a few times to get the battery to start to no avail. He said it may be the alternator. That was not good news. It meant even if I got a jump to the battery the car still wouldn’t start. Ok, ok – I took a deep breathe. As these folks cleaned up their cables and left, Izzy had to go to the bathroom. So we went back in the restaurant.
As we came out, the AAA truck was already in place with the jumper battery attached to the car battery. It’s a little but powerful battery booster that gives a powerful charge. It worked! Even though the battery was still quite gunky, it turned the car on in about 2 seconds. I was so relieved I wanted to cry. But between the stress and the time resolving this problem (about 2 hours had since passed) I couldn’t muster the energy to cry anyway. The AAA guy cleaned the battery and ran a diagnostic while he was there. The battery still had some power but the alternator appeared to need changing. He said we probably would need a tow because he didn’t recommend that we drive home. So he called a tow truck and left …and we waited and waited.
It really was only a little over an hour before the tow truck showed but it was already almost 1:30 am. I was the only one awake when the truck arrived. And he made it clear he only had room for 2 people in the truck. What was I supposed to do with the extra person? So I asked him if he thought we could make it back to my house, 15-20 minutes south. He said yes, we could make it and he wasn’t sure why the other AAA driver said we couldn’t. He apologized but at that point I didn’t care. I just wanted to get home. So with his ok, I turned on the car and drove out onto the road.
I drove as fast as I could to get home, hoping the whole time there was enough power to get us home. We made it.
The next day, we packed up Grandpa to take the train. There was no way the car would make it to NY and back so I had no choice. I felt guilty because he was tired and didn’t feel great but I was powerless. Things in my life continued to fall apart and all I could do was keep falling with it until some white light from waaaaay up top shone down to show me the way out. Hasn’t happened yet so hence, Grandpa took the train.
Even though this immediate situation was behind us, there was still two problems in front of me:
1) the car wouldn’t make it to work and back all week and needed to be fixed
2) no money to pay for aftercare and no one to watch Izzy after school this week.
My resolution: take vacation days and stay home. I would still get paid for the days and I was expecting my paycheck on Friday to cover the car repairs and aftercare for Izzy going forward. I couldn’t rely on child support because THAT comes whenever those involved decide pay it or submit it to Trenton. The timing of this money hadn’t been reliable for over a year. It was all on me.
How was I gonna take the days at work and still save face regarding how bad things are for me?
Lie.
I could tell my boss and co-workers that the car is in a bad way and won’t be fixed until Friday so I need to take vacation days because I have no transportation. I could do that – I don’t know, maybe I still will do that. But as of now, I’m going with a serious illness that will require me to stay home all week to recuperate. I told Izzy this was the plan.
Well, she reminded me that I have told her lying is always bad. Hmmmmm – busted. I said yes, it always IS bad BUT in this case, nobody will be hurt if I tell this story and it keeps me from explaining how hard things are for us so it’s a little different. I didn’t deny it still was lying, I just tried to qualify it. I felt my hands were tied unless I told the folks at work how bad things really are and then they may question whether I can continue to commute to the job and maybe I needed to find another one… Unemployment wouldn’t cover the rent.
So, I explained the plan of action and why it needed to be that way and she was ok after I answered that question. I can hopefully buy some time and save some money while staying home and taking the vacation days.
It’s a lucky thing that I have this paid time off available. So, there’s the upside. Unless some miracle happens during this week to show me outta this dark place, that’s about it for positives. Oh, and I’m still alive…
The Happiest Single Mom 